The Gluttony of Giants

Upon arriving at the front door of Grudd Haug, Moog saw her husband standing guard and immediately ran off to reunite with him. However, the embrace between Moog and Hruk was short lived and she quickly carried him off by the ear while berating him for being a lazy, no-good husband. Just then, Saitama and her mechanical sabretooth tiger, Mr. Squiggles, warped back into the space-time continuum. The heroes then ventured forth to get rid of the Hill Giant menace. First, they encountered some orcs keeping watching over numerous sheep pens by the gates below. Without delay, they entered battle with the savage Orcs and swiftly defeated them. To rid the Hill Giants of their food supply, Del had opened the gates to the sheep pens and Bardownski mimicked the sound of a roaring lion with his minor illusion spell. The sheep nonchalantly escaped from their pens.

Just then, two Hill Giants clambered out from the compound to examine the commotion. Seeing the adventurers and dead orc bodies they immediately attacked. The heroes had to duck and weave between nearby rocks to avoid the boulders hurled at them by the giants. However, Del and Henry’s skeletons were able to bring the foes down, but not without sustaining injuries of their own. The group found a lone Orc survivor who had not succumbed to his wounds and decided to question him. After getting all the information they possibly could, Henry commanded his skeletons to loose their arrows into his back even though he promised the Orc his freedom. The group decided to take a short rest. Henry was feeling tired decided to guard the main entrance as the rest of the team ventured into the compound.

Inside, Del, Bardownski, and Saitama had found a huge cavern filled with oinking pigs. Doing some reconnaissance¬†work, Bardownski had also found several prisoners in wood cages further within the complex. The group tried to fight the many Bugbears and the Ettin caretaker, Oinker-Boinker. The battle between the two groups was long and arduous but just as the Gay Companions were about to beat the monsters, Hill Giants had come crashing down from the ceiling above. The heroes were now overwhelmed and had no choice but to escape. They escaped to a store room in the east, blew out the lights, and hid in several crates and rock formations. Del, had chosen the worst spot of all. The Hill Giants had quickly given up on looking for them and before they retired for the night, many had relieved themselves on Del as he was standing in the “piss corner”.

Drenched in Urine and various animal parts, the heroes reconvened with Henry back outside and decided to wait until the next dawn before attempting to retake the compound. The next morning, the group was awakened by the sounds of a far away alarm that had put the whole compound on alert. The group was spotted by a Hobgoblin guard scouting the area on a Wyvern. The heroes quickly dashed back down into the pig pens and with the added might of Henry and his skeletons were able to defeat the Bugbears and Oinker-Boinker. They freed the prisoners. One was a family from a local farmstead who were taken to Grudd Haug to be eaten as they had no more crops on their farm. The other was a Scout from Goldenfields. He introduced himself as Ghalvin and told the adventurers that they were welcome to visit Goldenfields anytime. The final prisoner was a Barbarian by the name of Gryhark. Indebted to the heroes, he offered his assistance and accompanied the heroes further into Grudd Haug.

On the upper levels, the heroes had saved a Halfling from being cooked alive by goblins who were quickly disassembled. The commotion had attracted the attention of Hobgoblin guards from the outside and Ogres from the adjacent room. As the heroes made quick work of them, Two Hill Giants had barricaded the kitchen with overturned tables. The Gay Companions felt this was an opportune time to take a rest but were quickly after ambushed by some rather not-so-sneaky hill giants. Although bruised, the heroes were able to fend off the attack and decided to confront Chief Guh immediately after.

They climbed over the table barricades and engaged in fierce battle with Hill Giant Lord. Goblins on rafters rained arrows from above as Chief Guh’s male servants attacked the heroes on the ground. With each passing second, the adventurers sustained more and more injuries, but the enemy bodies around them were piling up. After dealing with the goblins, ogres, wolves, and giants, they were able to turn their full attention to Chief Guh. She was grotesquely overweight, even by Hill Giant standards, and could barely move from her waggon throne. Annoyed with her, Henry had set her on fire and the dry hay she sat upon quickly burst into flame. The ensuing screams could be heard for miles across the surrounding valley. She had burnt to a crisp, and all that remained was a disgusting charred remnant of a Hill Giant. As the heroes sifted through her belongings for treasure, a pink-robed Goblin had jumped out of the waggon, surprisingly untouched by the fire. His name was Nilbog and he said some very crass words to the heroes. He told the heroes he became tired of being surrounded by idiots but when he went to Chief Guh to inform her of his departure, she stuffed him in her fat rolls and forgot about him. Charmed with his crude demeanour the heroes waved good by to Nilbog as he scampered out of the Compound. The heroes found many valuable treasures and even convinced the Hobgoblin blacksmith, Erica Redskins, and her two Goblin apprentices, Gleep and Glop, to forge weapons at Noannar’s Hold.

Among the treasures, Bardownski found a giant conch shell which he examined by the docks. He held it up to his ear and instead of hearing the usual relaxing sounds of a calm beach, heard the torrential rains of an agitated storm. Compelled to blow into it, he did so. Unbeknownst to his friends, Bardownski had teleported himself to a far away place. A place, where he was unsure he would return from.



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